It's been a pleasure, to say the least. It's been nice knowing you, feeling you out, watching our lives together make a quick twist and a fast turn. I can't believe how many times I was caught by surprise, and then had to wear a big grin on my face all because of how clever you were. I couldn't have been less prepared, but there I was, stunned, jawa agape.
At no point did I feel really bored with you. Sure, there were moments, at which things got draggy, and I felt whatever I did didn't matter at all. Sometimes I wasn't sure if what I was doing - or not doing - would have made a great change to how things are right now. I spent my nights awake, wondering what if I had walked a different path, or just tried to do something different. It is with much regret that I in the end resorted to doing the most cliche of things, wondering if I was betraying what I set out to do, or not. Maybe I shouldn't have depended so much on what was to come, knowing you'd bring me there, but instead tried to forge my own path, whether you could help it or not. Fight the cliche.
But of course, there was only so much fighting to be done before the silence descended. It is a sudden emptiness, where the great crescendos fall, the choir muted. But the period right before that, where the music sang one of the greatests songs on earth, when I felt so great, but also a bit saddened. That things had come to an end. That I had to quit.
Maybe I'll come back to you again someday. But for now, you'll rest in the corner, snugly. Tight in my memories, tight in the cd-sleeve. Tales of dark jedi and money-grubbing Hutts never grow old, and hopefully, neither will this story. Those who do want to play it, however, can always borrow it from me. I only need reminding.
Happy New Year everybody. Many more to come. Stick around.
The past few days, like all days, were days with much potential. Staying awake was important, and in reverse, sleep just happened to take up too much time. These days had promise, offering up so much to see, to hear, to smell, the experiences only something you could shelve away, carefully, maybe one day digging up for a smile and a little dance, when dark thoughts cloud the mind.
These were the days of laughter and joy, and of quiet recollection. To sit down quietly on a bench beside the sea, listening to Singapore's little waves just lap nicely up to the shore, watching the hours-old sandcastles getting washed away, like a memory flattened forcefully. To see the azure eyes of the Husky panting at you as you scratch it behind the ears. The thoughts passing through your head, wondering if only dogs could purr. Or if cats would wag their tail, eager as the husky. To smile at the little kid who tripped but could get up again, to catch up with his mother jogging a few steps ahead. These were times for the strengthening of the mind and body, of daily trips to the gym, toning, preparing for the year ahead, vowing never to be disabled by short bouts of exercise. Times where reading was caught up upon, and everything else ignored, filling the mind, once again, with delicious fictions. Fact can, and will come later.
These days were for the chasing of old friends and older enemies, to thicken the bonds that bind, and to reforge those that were torn asunder by silly words or quick fists. To find out about times long past, to revisit them, as if there, but never. To see what shaped your acquaintences while you weren't there, unable to look, unable to mould in the subtle way a friend can.
And then, at the end of these days, to look up into the sky, and see the slowly crimson fire of the sun wane into the deep blue darkness of the night. To see the doves fly back up into the trees to roost, and to look down at the people below, unwilling to give up being awake, and trying to milk the night for what it's worth, that perhaps, these days, these beautiful days, would never have to give way to a new one.
But of course, I didn't do any of that.
I played lots of KOTOR (WOOT!), watched lots of movies, and met up with friends, and had lots of fun. Twas a great time indeed.
Highlights
1. LOTRROTK again. Finally got to catch the first 20min
2. Watched Indy 3 with Sam... FUN FUN FUN.
3. Went out for a quick buffet at Sakae with MG and the DD crew... Fantastic stuff, and ate some weird stuff I'd never have considered.
4. Went out with Sam (and Kak and Grace) to watch Love me if you dare. It's number 1 in the french box office for good reason, and yeah... if not for the cuts it'd be a much better movie. But Grace, said it right. It's like adaptation and malkovich and perhaps even donnie darko all rolled into one. Good stuff. Trippy.
5. Had a nice little GEP reunion... saw people I usually wouldn't see, and talked to them too. You know, Weili's really kinda cool, liking his evangelion and his star wars. Things I never knew. Is it too late? A night playing pool instead of going to S-11 or Sentosa (dumb idea IMO)... silly crazy whacked out pool is always fun.
6. Went out with Sam to look at the Freaky Friday.. all sold out. Ah well. There's still Bartimaeus to read.
7. Played KOTOR.
8. Did I forget anything?
heh... nice days indeed. You know, when I call wailiong Kak... sometimes I think of my email mailbox... my inbox to be particular, which I renamed Kak when all the emails in it got virused by... you got it, kak. Sometimes maybe... just maybe... I should go there and dig out old emails... and think about times past.
kakita *module sadness* says:
but french box office hits might not be very popular
if jack is anything to go by
Direcow *I am Ronin!* says:
jack isn't actually popular opinion.
neither is most of us
Direcow *I am Ronin!* says:
ze problem i forsee is ze people who want to take ze day off and zen have ze super long weekend
kakita *module sadness* says:
i zee
Direcow *I am Ronin!* says:
yes?
good. my english eez not veree... what is ze word? good, non?
kakita *module sadness* says:
oui
Direcow *I am Ronin!* says:
i used good two times? it is funny! I laugh! Haha! Haha!
kakita *module sadness* says:
eet eez... ow do youu zay.... acceptable. ho ho ho! zat is vehri funny.
Direcow *I am Ronin!* says:
what time shall be ze movie?
kakita *module sadness* says:
i must remembair to tell my pouddle ze funny joke.
eh.... four? oui?
Direcow *I am Ronin!* says:
ah? you pouddle? Hoho! Eet eez... very merriment, non?
Oui. That eez a good timing, yes? We shall then be... what eez the word again? Accompaniment? Non... non... ah, meeting?
kakita *module sadness* says:
le jouke! hoho! hoho!
ze word... what eez eet.... accompanie! yes.
Direcow *I am Ronin!* says:
I see zere iz ze four timings? Perhaps eet ez earlee, good?
kakita *module sadness* says:
eh? Pahrdon, my english.... eet iz not vehry.... useful? excellency? ow do you say?
Direcow *I am Ronin!* says:
Forsooth?
kakita *module sadness* says:
nyet. ya koshka
Direcow *I am Ronin!* says:
You bloody pussy you. I'll have you strung up and force fed with liqour!
Direcow *I am Ronin!* says:
But yah, back wid de qveshun yah?
Direcow *I am Ronin!* says:
Woulda too or da for timing be better, yah?
.
.
.
dys says:
ze idea, eet ees pretty goot. our francais, it can be improved zat vay.
And so the story goes.
In other news: If anybody sends me a "Merry Christmas" SMS from a number I don't know, I shall be replying with: "Merry Christmas to you too, kind stranger." You know, just in case I might know the person. Tell me if you know of any such incidents so I can place a name to the number. I've had enough of weird random wishes of merriment, good as it might be. (Marry Christmas! This is a special multiple post day!)
You know so much about the nightmare before christmas. You must research and study it as much as I do. I have loved this movie since I was a kid and studied it very hard. Congratulations.Please Please Please vote for my quiz.
Merry Christmas, and I have just discovered the title function.
If this doesn't add to an already very merry Christmas, I wonder what else they'd surprise us with? Half life 2 at my doorstep tonight?
Ladies and Gentlemen, dust off your rusty brains, dig through your old cd-rom drawers and dig out The Longest Journey. Laugh. Cry. Feel wonder. Amazement. Joy. Place those cds into your drive and relive those precious memories again.
And then dream of what the sequel might bring.
(But of course, first back to KOTOR and concurrent Broken Sword 1-3 goodness all in a row. I've never been so spoilt by constant good dialogue writing.)
A bit of totally mindless funfun, if you would say so.
Anyway... wow. After playing countless hours of Championship Manager, which I must say has been a TOTAL blast, I finally decide to pop in a bit of KOTOR.
I now have come to the conclusion that no more Champman for me.
Seriously, KOTOR is, in a word, FANTASTIC. I dunno what to say, really. Words somewhat fail me. All I do know is that I'm really excited to be roleplaying. I'm really excitied to bring forth the character I want to portray, which I haven't ever managed in other games like BG or NWN. It's not a matter of having less options this time and hence an easier time. It's all the matter of actually knowing what kinda kick-ass jedi you want to be.
And my character doesn't even know about the whole Jedi thing yet. Gambling games which involve fun, getting light side points each time you help the downtrodden or dark side points, how the points system affects your character portrait... It's all so immersive. I've never felt so immersed, other than, perhaps, fallout, in an RPG. Wow. Really. Character development is even better... you know how your aides in BG bicker, same as for fallout? It's here too, and now they actually become full cutscenes in a sense. And you can prod them on to bicker even more. Whee! (Note: I've never played much BG so don't go comparing my experience.)
I've dabbled in RPGs quite a bit in the past few years, from Anachronox (stopped playing once I got too riddled with quests) to the Japanese Learning RPG, Slime Forest, to NWN and of course Fallout. KOTOR has met all that I required of it. I am back to proper RPGing again. I am rather pleased with myself, that's for sure.
And of course, no gaming is complete without some good old adventure gaming. I'm glad Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars is giving me good respite against the stress of combat and/or managing a team, for a whole different stress level altogether. The good thing is it's so well written that you just want more. And it's simple enough to have you rattle your brains without resorting to a walkthru. I've resorted to it once. I feel like a bad boy already. (insert perfunctury laughing sound)
Geriatric badminton... not a good idea. I still ache BAD. Sitting down gives me cramps. I am incapacitated. Walking to the phone is a bad idea, and so is leaving my chair in front of the computer (all the better to play games with I say). I shall start getting fat again. But if anybody were to request another round of geriatric badminton I wouldn't mind at all.
It's Christmas time, so Marry Christmas all you readers. I must say it's still a stressful time (especially since bidding is on)... and just the other night, as I was singing War on Drugs to myself on the limp home, I walk into 7-11 for a new paper and... over the speakers, piping in, a mournful voice pleading, "we are all changing". Apt, apt indeed. Sometimes walking home, or taking the bus home alone gives you lots of time for yourself (if you're not reading or sleeping) and sometimes you just get back to thinking... what went wrong where. This time, however, it was how I've seen so many people change around me... so many of them come to new conclusions and new directions to take themselves in. We are all, definately, changing.
But yet, here I am, still the same. The same old me. I even look the same. So, if you've just gotten to know me, it might as well have been that you've known me forever. And a day.
Now, if that title just doesn't scream to be watched already... will Jude Law help? If it rocks your boat there's also Gwyneth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie. And a certain Bai Ling whose name I just cannot place. That and Giovanni Ribisi. A joy to watch, always. Dogfights and over the top CG... add to that.. it's not done by Americans! (I think they're French, or if enough CM4 playing has helped, Dutch). Maybe American immigrants? Ah, I dunno.
That just needs to be watched. Really. Totally. It's amazing how Jim Carrey can really push himself in dramatic roles by actually looking LESS rubbery. Somehow the academy never notices. Truman Show, you should have won everything. Peter Weir too.
Anybody up for Master and Commander? Please?
And of course, the Spiderman 2 Trailer is now out SO GO AND WATCH NOW. If you can't find the trailer, you're a loser, and you should go watch other easier to access trailers. That, and now that I've watched it in it's 17" glory (instead of the dinky version the last time) I can comment properly. It's interesting, the casting of Alfred Molina as Doc Ock... It's really good. He's tubby enough without having to cause Molina too much heart problems (IMO) and his hairstyle is updated, but yet so... Doc Ock. It's great. I have problems with the how the car flies in at the beginning tho. It's a little wrong. Not a VERY STRONG trailer in all accounts, but let's hope they save the best. I'll watch it already. For sure.
In other news, I am now prettier than thou art. Even after warnings of extreme pain and twitching, I still went (really, THANKS to my mom. Egads) and am now part of the metrosexual club. I am so ashamed. But pretty. Pretty ashamed I guess... and I now have to go back for another session. Good thing is they took out a lot of gunk including what was troubling me. Please do not trouble me about all this.
Ah, no more black heads. (Which was not what was troubling me. It was troubling my mom.)
In other news, I stayed over at Raffles the Plaza last night. It's interesting, the sensation of how you still can feel like such a tourist... a stranger, even in Singapore. Maybe I just don't go out enough. Hotel stays are fun cos they have cable tv and hence football, and movies like Black Hawk Down, Forrest Gump and The Sweetest Thing (which wasn't so sweet, but heck, Cameron Diaz). 2 things of note is probably the sign languange choir, which was very charming (and I finally know how to count properly which was a problem for a long time) and... err... eating crepes? MMMMM... creepy crepes. Also, saw a lot of stars like Lim Kay Siu and Selena Tan picking out Christmas trees (I think it was her) and just 2 shops away were Shiek Heikel (STOP LAH-ING YOU IDIOT) and Julie Wee, looking heavily made up and also making me wonder if I was a stranger. Probably am, being not very remarkable or memorable. Sometimes it's good to blend in.
But... back to coding. This is really pulling teeth. (Or black heads. The pain was overrated.)
Maybe I've just been going out a little too much the past few days. There's now this sense of impending doom and total unsettledness that lies deep within me, ready to burst out with it's tendrils of tenacity and then do stuff.
One thing for sure is probably the impending doom coming from 2 directions, and dire directions they be. Basically my bad grades. And of course, my lousy coding. Both of which are entirely pertinent right now.
One way to fix things, of course, it to try to NEVER EVER take a module in which I have to do alone. It just really sucks. I mean, sure you don't have any distractions, but with my mind, there's distraction enough as it is. I need somebody to release a stray thought once in a while so that I can continue to concentrate on the task at hand. Of course, there's the exception to the rule, a great one at that, Film and History, but look at Japanese (totally, UTTERLY alone), and of course Biochem and Genetics (of which I had 2 people in there I knew before entering NS.. maybe more, but basically 2 that'd I'd even care vaguely about). It is very very lonely, and I don't mix well with humans. Call me a wuss, for example, but that's just probably displaying the facts right there, that I just don't hang well. I hang vaguely well, which kinda tricks people and then me, and then, of course, they go back to whatever people they can call friends while I grapple to stay awake. Thank goodness for Film and History. Maybe I should go into movies in one way or another.
Right.
Coding, coding coding. I can barely HTML to save my life nowadays (header or title first? wait.... or is the title in the head?.....) and then of course I have this whole php project where I know creatively steal code from everywhere. It's quite a learning experience, and I'm already doing better than my last project. But I think I'm better off thinking of what needs to be done than actually doing it (from years of practise). Ah well, but it's back to work for it. I have to keep driving, and also return my php book which I currently deem: useless.
So what did I do after getting really depressed and a little bit sick of coding? I went to sleep and had a funky dream. Not that I planned to (I planned to get a good rest) but that's what happened. Something along the lines of a haunted mansion of sorts, interestingly. Maybe my trip to penang affected me in ways I never knew. Damn you, Eddie Murphy! But seriously tho, it's interesting to see how, when you're called upon to help your sister or find you sister or something, you come accross a room you know is haunted, and is a little dark, and has your sister inside. Before the dead infidels take your sister away (and make your dream a labryinth clone) of course your sister has to taunt you to come in, and of course you realise you've been here before, only in another dream (I'm serious, for I remember remarking that hey I've dreamed this room before so why am I dreaming it again?). So you go in, see an old lady pop up from behind the wallpaper behind the bed of which appears empty. The old lady happens to look pixelated too, as if when she's stretching the wallpaper from beneath they didn't have enough money to get a higher resolution texture for the wall. Anyway there was movement on the couch on the far side of the room, of which I was going to check out and LO AND BEHOLD! My sis pops out from underneath the sheets on the bed. Then I'm joined with my cousins (somehow) and we proceed to see a dark shadow at the window during each lightning strike (sorry I do not know how to spell shillouette) and then we see the evil pale looking rastafarian of doom just peeking out next to the pixel pushing lady of bad textures. The couch has disappeared, replaced by the wall where the window is. So my cousin walks around, the rastafarian tried to grab her (and possibly infect her with the dreaded dreadlocks) but I manage to grab her back, fight with great strength the titanic tug of war, win and then wake up.
Which means it's back to work.
"Only in the WWF could a wrestler turn heel via iambic pentameter!" From the wrestlecrap mailbag page. I found this really funny, really. The mention of the number 313 in it as "a mechanical reference to a leaning object" is also hilarious in itself.
CM1121 BASIC ORGANIC CHEMISTRY B
GEM2005 FILM AND HISTORY A
LAJ1201 JAPANESE C+
LSM1101 BIOCHEMISTRY OF BIOMOLECULES C+
LSM1102 MOLECULAR GENETICS B-
ST1232 PROBABILITY AND STATISTICS B
That's interesting. My A for either chem or genetics didn't materialise, and I should have applied for SU for Japanese... on hindsight. I figured that out on the way home a few days back.
Stats with a B. Interesting.
"duh. about the speeling and caustic abrasiveness and virtual verbal verbosity anyway.
And.... aren't scholars selected for their excellence in a certain SUBJECT? How such said excellence can pertain to leadership I will never know. It's almost as bad as just spinning round blindfolded, pointing and then saying 'hey! you'll be a leader!'"
Everytime I look at Verbal Virtuose I just see Verbal Verbose.
Yeah I know LOTR can't be considered sequels in the strictest sense of the word, but as I mentioned, that's only because they were filmed/written that way. I mean, Peter Jackson could have just decided to film the 3 books as one large movie (like the cartoon) or maybe film Hobbit as part 1, and split LOTR into 2. But, errr I lost my point.
Also: KOTOR is probably not the same as "The Dig", but tell that to the kids who grew up with KOTOR instead of Dig. But then again, also remember that, at the very least, it is a return to greatness.
Leadership:
Now, having been in positions of leadership before, I know how much it just totally SUCKS. Especially if you go in with the wrong mindset, or you're just not meant for it. Also, having been under positions of leadership before, I know how much leaders totally SUCK. First let it be also known that I'm not a good leader myself.
Look at it this way: Leaders are there not only to lead, but to serve. That much not many leaders understand, only the good ones. It might sound silly to some, but that is how it is. Unless you happen to be herding a group of miscanthropic llamas from the andes, then, well, you don't actually have to serve them cos no matter what they just keep spitting back at you. But that usually isn't the case, cos spitting is a crime and we don't want to be caught by the ISD (shudder me).
Leaders sometimes are chosen for all the wrong reasons. Perhaps sometimes they are chosen because they have an imposing stature or a very deep booming voice! That way, Darth makes a good leader, and we can see how he led the empire. But of course, if the big show was a good leader he'd be marrying Shane McMahon or something. I mean, seriously (not my strongest suit), that is all just a surface thing, and it'll fall to bits sooner than you can correct all the spelling mistakes in my blog.
Sometimes they are chosen because they can lick balls/pussy VERY well! Good for them! Keep licking, and keep me feeling disgusted.
Sometimes they are chosen because they are most talented in their field! This really happens all the time... perhaps in the vain hope that their skills will permeate around and then cause everybody to be equally talented. (then all can become leaders). Or perhaps it's in the hope that since they're good, they know what kind of standards to achieve and how to coerce and force everybody to behave the same way! Let's hear it up for the automaton choir!
Sometimes it's because they are scholars. That, my friends, is the WORST kind of leader EVER. THE UTTERMOST CRAP. Just think about it. I am too disgusted by how the lives of our men are wasted away while scholars become officers and then proceed to mismanage everything. All this utter inability is stunning to say the least.
Not everybody can be leaders. Some pander to their men too much and end up being trodden all over to the point that he can no longer command respect. Some are overly strict, and end up being hated. Some just utterly suck (SCHOLARS WHO THINK YOU'RE GREAT LEADERS CAN YOU READ THIS IT'S IN SOME KIND OF ENGLISH SO I HOPE IT'S NOT TOO LOUSY FOR YOU OR IF YOU'RE A CHINESE SCHOLAR: NI HAO MA? FA KE YU! VIETNAMESE: SHING SHUNG FARK YU! But no I don't hate all of you, but some of you really do no justice to that piece of paper you have.)
It's not easy leading anyway. Sometimes not everybody wants to follow. Some people are just hobbyists in the whole anarchist thingamajig, or some people, apparently, have 2 left ears. No matter what command you give, they just CANNOT listen right. It's really quite infuriating, but of course you take it out with the wall you smash when you're stressed.
I think I've lost my mind somewhere along here. Basically, there are good and bad leaders, and obviously there are VERY WRONG WAYS of selecting leaders, but not everybody even understands that. And of course sycopantry blinds the selectors even more. That is sad.
And I have nothing against scholars. Really! But I totally agreed with one minister who said that the scholars are bringing the country down in a sense. Somehow you suddenly expect the muggertoads to be great leaders. I don't see how. (Remember, not all scholars are muggertoads, and not all muggertoads are bad.) Somehow, somehow... it's just sad to me.
Dear reader, if you're ever put in a position of leadership, please do it well, and if you can't step down. It's not a loss of face. It's for the greater good. The moment you feel a wall of discontent, ASK WHY. And if you're ever a follower, try to remember that leadership isn't easy at all and there are too many positions to fill for too little good leaders. Sometimes you have to make do with the inadequet.
And my bad speeeling. (And if I wasn't brash and abrasive this blog wouldn't be as fun to read, I think.)
I really like runaways. I really do. It's fantastic stuff. Runaways is good. Go read runaways. And look at thisart: SWEET. It's not but the usual suspect (Alphona I think his name is) but hey it's sweet. It's my favourite kind, nice, bold lines and very dynamic. And shading isn't crosshatched but good old (new) computer shading. I like the colours. Takeshi Miyazawa ain't half bad!
VERBAL VIRTUOSE:
You are the verbal virtuose that we would all like to be. You read a lot and write effortlessly and well. Everyone is waiting for your novel!
From Pete's blog (see the linky link over there? I have linky links.) I find this extremely funny. Yes siree, wait for my novel, but in the meantime, why doncha all just give me some money up front, you know, as payment for my great Singaporean novel. I think I'll something close to all of us, like the story of Sang Nila Utama. Musangpura!!!!!!!! (And those of you who know my old blog, no worries, I won't turn it into a quiz-whore land again.) I really should redo the quiz again.
1 of the reasons why I did start blogging again (other than some people wanting to see my mind works, or just you know, cos I'm only good for a few laughs on a bad day) is also cos I should stop blogging on Kak's (linky link!) blog's comments, or Grace's for that matter. Hmz. I wonder how I should name people. Kak's kak and Pete's the Catholic War Machine. I should stick to something. Guys, do tell me how to name y'all. Sam's Sam. It's not me loving Azuresque, it's loving you. So there. You have no say, Bwahaha and all that jazz. (Ok you do. Please spare me.)
You know what's wrong with Quizallas? That they can be extremely wrong too. If they're right, I still subscribe to my belief that it's only because that the "description" is so generic that, well, I'd fit into almost every description. Or is it just me being generic?
Kak (linky.... argh nevermind) mentioned Gene Rottenberry's Star Trek (is that how you spell it?) in reply to my blog below... Something I haven't really watched. (1 episode of DS9 and Deep Contact I think. Deep Contact? First Contact.). But suffice to say, yeah, inasmuch as I don't understand it much, and probably hasn't done much for humanity as a whole (other than create Galaxy Quest, for that, Gene, I salute you) it's still the same. Don't you freaks understand? You're raping our collective conciousness by giving up crap and pretending to stay true to it. Stop pretending. I remember somebody mentioning how you could make each FF seem like a rehash of previous storylines, and he's right. But at least the girls are pretty, and I'm not really bothered cos I don't console game. I wish they'd port ICO over tho.
It's not that all sequals are bad (like I mentioned I think). I mean, LOTR is FANTASTIC and only gets stronger (LOTR TODAY!!!!!!!). But that's because it was filmed that way. Just because the way you write leaves room for more money making adventures means you go ahead and do such things. If anything, you much just show how inadequet you are, like the Wachowskis. Let's look at Monkey Island (ignoring MI3 which was like making Guybrush rape LeChuck). MI2, barring the MOST STUPID ENDING EVER, was a great improvement over MI1, while keeping true to the classic. MI3 (ok I had to mention it) tried to explain away the ending... but... suck is suck, and explaining suck in more suck is even worse suck. MI4... well... if you press the shift key while pressing 4 you get $... so... errr... it's better than MI3. Kinda a return, but just... lacking that bit of something. Fallout 2 seemed better than Fallout1, and Baldur's gate by general consensus was improved by it's sequel. Of course, we have expansion packs doing better than the original, like what I hear about Hordes of the Underdark (Underdark... could very well be describing my armpits). It can be good. But you know why? Cos people are dedicated to it, and properly too. And usually it's the same crew working on it, so... you know, it tends to be of the same vein. It's not like some game company buying the rights for some X-com sequel and then deciding to churn out derivative shit. If I wanted derivative shit I'd play the games I've played before again.
Pete: I don't care if it's pretty "dull and boring". As long as it's pretty. Seriously. I visit all the time. And I just wish to read more, for I don't totally know the guy I've known for so long. So, in a sense, inasmuch as "read my blog to find out about me" is kinda a crappy idea, but it happens. So... everytime a week goes by with no updates I get really worried.
The problem about self-depreciation, in my opinion (it's all my opinion here I think) is that when it happens, unless for humour, happens to be just tasteless or have no reason. I'm serious. I mean, I know I'm not perfect, and I know everybody isn't perfect (and some are less perfect than others like Bush) but that's what makes us human. The moment I see someone I know who can do so much better or has so much potential just deride themselves it just irritates me to no end. I might do that too, sure, but well it just puts me off. So there. One thing I've said to myself is to always have confidence, and never fear. Never ever fear. (Other than those damn flying insects). Sam climbed a mountain! I am so proud of you. There is so much you can do as long as you have faith. (And a bath later, apparently.)
There's so much of our dire past that we can dislike and hate. There's so much that feels like fingernails on chalkboard. That makes you just crings or just kill yourself. Maybe suicide is just painless. But I'm glad to see... that well, there's just so much love out there for you, tho it may not be apparent, that just makes you raise your head and move on. Of course, your thoughts keep coming back. Suicide is painless, but only to you (of course you could always choose to slowly bleed yourself to death and that might get mighty painful especially if you decide to do it via papercuts). Right on, pete. Right on.
One more thing I'd like to add: Osten. Why did he quit? Cos that's what his job is. He's a equity trade manager. So what does that mean? He cuts his losses. So basically he's just doing his job. Can't really blame the guy. Who told me this? My mom. She's so smart. :)
FUCK YOU INTERPLAY. By gamers for gamers? When I first saw that tagline and played fallout I was totally entranced. It seemed like everything that tagline meant came true. It was awesome to say the least.
Damn you interplay. Sometimes I just feel very betrayed by cancelled games you wait forever to come out. I mean, yeah, it happens or the time. But 2 examples strike me: this and Full Throttle 2. I mean, yeah, knock 3d-ness. Say that 2d to 3d conversions may never work out totally (look at Duke Nukem 3d, then look at Warcraft III). But you know what? I don't frickin care whether it's in 2d or 3d. If the effects are better, good, sure, fine, choose a good dimension to have it on, but the most important: Story. Or at least staying true to it.
Perhaps what leads to a even higher sense of betrayal is basically VERY CRAPPY STORY. That's when you feel really cheated. That's when they take the characters you've known and revisitied and really grown to love so much that you begin to know how to think in their shows, how to fight like a cow, or even know the stark differences between your world and theirs (2 adventure game references right there). I mean, seriously, for Full Throttle, I can understand the apprehension that a different crew is working on it, but the same arguement goes for Sam and Max 2. Steve Purcell... what? If he's in, he's just an advisor. Dammit people, do it properly. Don't try to cheat us and milk our money all because you know we'll buy it no matter what. You ain't the Wachowski's. You aren't George Lucas. But somehow everybody just wants to be like them. Don't get me started on Larry Lovage and Al Lowe. You can't call it LSL anymore. It's not the same. It might be a small difference to you, and "we'll try to stay close to the spirit of the game". But you're digging your own grave. Do it badly and bye bye bye.
It's interesting how sometimes people who weren't directly involved in the project, and only later managed to enjoy it as a finished product somehow become the only ones who know what "it's meant to be". To know what is meant and not meant to be. I'm quite sure the uproar at monkey island 3 was rather big... it was totally different from the first 2 installments already, and personally I didn't really like it. The humour was missing, and the designs felt wrong. No matter how many rubber tree competitions it had, well, it wouldn't make it right. Not quite. Still at least there's a nice easter egg to "reward" the fans who would otherwise possible feel even more cheated. It's not the same as the Duke Nukem jump from 2 to 3d, for there at least we know it's just a wham bam anyway, and I'm quite sure some people just loved walking up to the strippers and giving them money to see pixellated boobies. Whatever rocks their boat. I was definiately more pissed off from duke 1 to 2, when Duke became this egotistiacal maniac on top of being a world saver. I hated that.
Sometimes I doubt Lucasarts knows what an adventure game is anymore. Well, at least we have KOTOR.
We've seen what Lucas has done to the prequels of Star Wars (you aimed at the wrong demographic you idiot) or the Wachowskis with the wonderful world they grew (you ran out of influences to pick up on didn't you?)... I shudder to think what might happen to the Indiana Jones 4. And I shudder to think what might happen if they touch Commander Keen or who knows? Reader Rabbit. For every good movie or game there just has to be some bad sequel right? Seems to be the rule of thumb... Legally Blonde 2 for one example.
I wish they'll do more of the X-men 2 kinda stuff. Give us something to really mark out for, not just pretty graphics or the fact that it's going to be released. Give us something solid. Please.
I was brushing my teeth this morning before I went to sleep and I realise that I'd made a mistake: I never used to call him Wubes. It was Wubbie (either way I don't think he liked it)... sweet wubbable wubbie, in, of course, an actually rather unwubbable way. But still, there it was, my mistake. And as you brush, your mind wanders, and I started wandering who else was called wubes... actually nobody, but then I started thinking about chubes i.e. the worst sitcom in the history of Singaporean TV, barring Masters of the Sea, but we'll leave them alone, they've been knocked about already. I was thinking: Why on earth would Tan Kheng Hua's character call her husband... something which rhymes with pubes? Unless, of course, that's just what she's been thinking about.
But.. What's there to like? Pubes? BAH. The only purpose I know it serves is the "trapping" of pheromones so that... well... there's a nice strong musk and all that jazz. But seriously, you'll not really going to get it unless your face is down there, or and if you face is down there, it's sure going to be a hairy situation. Long straggly hair that gets everywhere... the worst thing is finding it in bathtubs or on the floors and bedsheets of hotels. You just... don't feel very clean. If anything, pubes should be abolished. Nice, smooth baby skin IS the way to go.
But that's me brushing my teeth.
I was also thinking about this very blogging. If anything it's meant to be somesort of window to the man not too many people actually know lots about cos I don't always talk too much about myself unless I feel comfortable, but that's a given for most people anyway. But if I'm going to be honest, well, this is where I lose "friends". I'm quite sure my best friends have all known be well enough that I'm just extremely abrasive and insulting at times (throw some sarcasm/sarcatism into the mix) I think they're the ones who've managed to look past that. I mean, if I were just to shoot my mouth I'd be insulting everybody out there. But that's cos nobody's perfect. Especially Wubbie. Hmz... Or maybe cos I talk about pubes. Off subject matter really, but it ain't all out releasing of sexual tension as I know some are prone to do.
But we'll see. Is this where I lose my friends? If so... possibly, quite possibly, no loss I guess.
Sam... come back.... come back..... waiting for your call.
Well, one thing's for sure, I'm not going to do any finetuning soon.
Maybe later today.
Well well... There we have it, another season of survivor is over. I have a few stray thoughts before I go to bed:
a) Nice trashing of Lil... from the moment Darrah was out I was rooting for Sandra. Why root for Darrah? Heh heh heh...
b) Still, not much of a winner... rather uninteresting. Once again, the worthy ones don't actually win. Even Jon might have made for a good winner, tho honestly I still thing Rob did a way better job of playing people without having to resort to histronics.
c) Rupert... Rupert...
I went for some cycling today just so to lose some of that extra waist I've gained, but of course I don't think it's effective unless I stick to it, like all of these exercise programmes. Still, it's fun to go out there all alone, with the wind in your hair just going on and on. I think, right now, I can really ride with some good confidence... today I ran into a group of m*ts (well, not literally) who was taking up my whole lane... managed to stay as close to them as possible, getting a hand in the chest in the process which was light, but hopefully that gave them a warning. Idiots. Seriously, if you wanna walk on the cycle track, don't take up the whole land AND swing your hands around. What was more fun was being distracted, looking forward and braking swerving and continuing without missing a beat. That was cool. I am mighty pleased.
d) Lil was really DAMN IRRITATING. She should just go back to her boy scouts and read them bedtime stories. Seriously... you can set up a fire but you can't survive on less food? Or fish? What do they teach you in scouts? How to get lost? Seems to be the general consensus. CIP: Greg... but he's getting better ever since he's not in one.
I've been trying really hard to finish Runaway... resorted to a walkthru... but so far it's been interesting (most adventure games definately are, when compared to, say... playing hexagonal based games or flight sims or *shudder* golf) but the pixel hunting and some totally illogical bits of story don't help it much. Still... it's a good warm up... before the Broken Sword Trilogy.. WOOT! And of course, some CM4 on the side. Interesting how I only cheated once (to beat liverpool... quit twice) and managed 4th place with Spurs. It's nice to have a good set of youngsters to bring your team up. Dean Richards can just shut up, and ARSEnal won. Bullcrap.
I wonder what's up with KS... maybe I should call him? The movie thing... might be over already. Ah well... :/ Should put more planning instead of just imagning in cinemascope and then try to make Kak do stunts. It's no longer wirework when... you could describe the person to be skinny as a wire. No offense tho... you're putting up those muscles from swimming! Right? And that tan from monitor radiation with Gunbound and all that jazz.
I've been still receiving mail from sarcatism boy cos it can get interesting... today's was funny. He (and his delusions of grandeur) decided to design a t-shirt to wear to the LOTR movie trilogy screening. Of course, he's this really great designer! Designed many a poster for the army. T-shirt says: "I had survived the LOTR movie trilogy"(sic, and read it CAREFULLY). On the back are totally random quotes which totally make no sense, and have almost no reference to how grand his grand (butt numbing) journey is. Now THAT totally made my day. Not good cycling. THAT. Wubes (rhymes with pubes)... you just crack me up with your honest ineptitude. I shall refrain from replying to his emails... he is still prone to sarcatism... and I must get more. (He did send an Arwen wallpaper once, which I might have used if I actually use wallpaper. Good on him.) And of course, he is very proud of it. And it's off to the printers already. How nice the world turns. I wish him the best of luck. I shall watch my DVDs again! Yay. (Oh, he got first row... maybe second row seats too. Good for him. Bad butt AND neck.)
You know, I should make fun of him less. But what's the fun in that? Still... the t-shirt. You HAVE to see it to believe it. I'll try to get someone to host it. Something has to be said about how one can make exclaimation marks funny.
Here's a little treat for everybody right now: A rather empty blog. It's not that the mind is empty (I hope), rather, the finale of survivor is coming up in a few minutes.
